Time To Let Go

When you think about a memory… an object… a person that’s taking up space in your life, does it ever feel like you’re looking down from a scary height? Maybe it’s time to let go.

I sold my Fight Club DVD a couple weeks ago, along with dozens of others that were just taking up space. Looking at the wall of movies I’d collected over the years, I had to ask myself why they were there. Sure, there are some that I’d watch again and again. I kept those. Truthfully, most of the rest were there in hopes that visitors would think I get Lynch or Tarantino. I don’t. I barely catch half the pop culture references in The Simpsons.

It was a bumpy, crooked road to the realization that what Tyler Durden said in Fight Club had become frighteningly true for me. The things you own end up owning you. Somehow the idea of “having” had become more important to me than just being. I fell for the lie that my worth as a person might be enhanced by the the stuff in my house, the people in my life, the beliefs I defended or the title on my business card.

The truth I resisted was that the “holding and having” had cut me off from living.

There comes a time when we have to empty the cup in order to get it filled up again. I’m thinking now about the supply of creativity and ideas you and I require to be fulfilled in our work, but this applies to our relationships and material circumstances too. I don’t know why it’s taking this lesson so long to stick with me, because it seems I have to keep learning it over and over again.

Get rid of what you DON’T want to make room for what you DO want.

Simple, but hard. I’m reminded of two versions of a story about monkeys. The lighter version involves a lab with a special jar. The opening was just big enough for a monkey’s empty hand to fit through and there were treats inside. What the observers found was that most monkeys would not let go of the treats, even though it kept them from pulling their loaded fists back out of the jar. Does that situation sound familiar?

In The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire, Deepak Chopra paints an inspiring picture of shooting stars as a metaphor for miracles. He says that we think of shooting stars as something rare, but they actually happen all the time. We just can’t see them against the background of sunlight. Creative solutions to life’s challenges – personal and professional – are as abundant as shooting stars. It’s up to us to create the space in our minds and in our surroundings so we can see them flowing again.

This is something that takes awareness, practice and courage.

The best ideas are the ones that flow through us. Holding on too tightly to too many things inevitably cuts us off from that natural flow. If you’re feeling any creative blocks in your life, here are ten clearing techniques that may help get things moving again:

1. Ask yourself why you’re holding onto certain things that are crowding you
2. Do a symbolic clearing of your closet, cupboards or garage to create more space
3. Donate things you no longer use to people who can truly benefit from them
4. Keep photographs of sentimental objects you know you’re better off releasing
5. Rate every contact as “helpful” or “not helpful” – you know which ones to delete
6. Make room for ideas by removing clutter from your desk, drawers and computer
7. Question your current beliefs about what you can be, do and have
8. Let go of the ones that aren’t serving you anymore and replace them with new ones
9. Drop outdated goals or renegotiate broken agreements that bog you down with guilt
10. See if you’re managing relationships as they really are or as you wish they would be

Letting go isn’t the same as quitting or giving up – it’s just being brutally honest with ourselves when it’s time to say “enough.” Holding onto things that are no longer adding value to our lives carries an enormous opportunity cost. What fresh ideas could we be missing by clinging to yesterday’s leftovers? Instead of grasping life so tightly, let’s try a catch and release approach together and see what happens.

Questions: Have you been thinking about letting go of something? How have you been rewarded when you’ve had the courage to let go at other times in your life and how could that help you manage the fear of letting go today?